My book review of "The Sirens of Baghdad"

I bought this book some time ago and had just finished the book. Due to my work, I have not been able to read as much as I would like. However, I am currently on a business trip and had a bit more time to read.

I found this book to be a real eye opener. The book is about 300 pages and I did half of it in 2 days. I haven't read so much so fast in ages.

The Sirens of Baghdad was actually written in French by Mohammed Moulessehoul, However, he goes by the pen name of Yasmina Khadra (a woman's name). The reason being he was an officer with the Algerian Army.

The novel was translated by John Cullen. I am not sure whether Yasmina's story was as good as the translated version. At times, I felt it was overdone but it does give you an idea of the mind of the young Arabs and frustrations lived by them due to the American occupation of Iraq.

It will give a lot of Westerners, a better idea why the Muslims all over are joining such groups. The book does also argue both side of the view points and this also allow the reader to not only read about a one sided view.

Overall, a good read and I would recommend it to all.

Until the next time, cheers.

Mukhriz confirms Najib wants meritocracy for Malays

I have no issues with the NEP. I think if implemented properly, it will help more people than currently. However, making these types of statement is a true politician. To me, it means "having the cake and eating it too" or "heads I win, tail I win".

We should stop telling the same things using different words and definitions (disguised in modern marketing jargons) but rather start doing things. We keep talking the point but take action. If the Government cannot see that the poorer class is getting larger and worse off, then they must really be blind.

Give them more opportunities.

Until the next time, cheers.

The Malaysian Insider, 18 October 2011

Mukhriz confirms Najib wants meritocracy for Malays

KUALA LUMPUR, Oct 18 — Datuk Seri Najib Razak’s call for meritocracy over the weekend meant finding the best Malays in the country but not abolishing pro-Bumiputera policies despite liberalising the economy, says Datuk Mukhriz Mahathir.

The prime minister was reported to have said that affirmative action under the New Economic Policy (NEP) is “here to stay” by a pro-Umno blogger who attended a closed-door session with the Majlis Amanah Rakyat (Mara) Junior Science College alumni.

Mukhriz (picture), who is the alumni president, confirmed the blog report with The Malaysian Insider, saying yesterday that Najib’s message was “that we are getting rid of rent-seekers and helping Malays become more competitive instead.”

The report quoted Najib as saying that the NEP would not be abolished but that meritocracy would be implemented among Malays to find “the best amongst Malays.”

“We no longer want to see Malay businessmen sell away assets, especially when they face a major crisis. We have seen this before.

“If I wanted to be popular, then I would pander to the economic rent-seekers,” he was quoted as saying by a blog.

The Umno president was reported as explaining that government-linked companies (GLCs) prioritised doing business with Malay companies because “when they go outside, their new markets ask them ‘did your government buy your product?’”

He said last month there was a need to eventually do away with Bumiputera quotas but said the government must continue to support the community’s best talent to ensure a more competitive business environment.

Although Najib quickly insisted he had no intention to abolish quotas immediately, he has continued to stress that Malays should no longer “hide” behind government protection.

He told Malay economic NGOs last month that his New Economic Model (NEM) promotes affirmative action based more on meritocracy, saying “we must promote the right Bumiputera.”

Najib has moved to liberalise the economy since taking office in April 2009, most recently removing Bumiputera equity requirements for 17 services subsectors.

But analysts have said that his plans are being threatened by Malay hardliners who have forced Putrajaya to revise pre-qualification criteria for the RM50 billion Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) mega project and sale conditions of billion-ringgit prime land by UDA Holdings — a government agency tasked with boosting Bumiputera participation in the urban economy.

Najib, who is expected to call for a general election soon, has also intervened personally in the so-called Bumiputera Agenda, carving out for them RM8 billion or 43 per cent of civil engineering work for the MRT.

Khairy defends attacks on Guan Eng’s son, calls critics hypocrites

First, surely KJ has to defend his stand, right? That's the reflex action of any politician even if he regrets making those tweets. He has no choice. If he backs down, then the vultures will finish him off. Don't forget that he has foes everywhere.

However, what I was most dissapointed is that this young politician pours hot and cold. Hecently, he seems to make the right moves but then, he will screw up with stupid action like this.

I am not sure why all politicians in Malaysia want to play with all sides and think they can get away with it. I think the time is over. It can be done in the past without the advances of media and ICT where the audience is so localised that others won't know what was said or discussed.

If KJ says that the oppositions does the same thing, prove it and I am sure the opposition politicians who do this will suffer the same from the public. Going for the politician in a gutter fashion is bad enough but going for the children is really uncalled for and in real bad taste!

I think Malaysians expect a lot from KJ unlike some real stupid BN politicans who seeks controversies just to be in the limelight. With his sound education, intelligence and ambition, he should do well on these merits alone. There is no need to go for such politics anymore.

KJ, I don't think there are any other young politicians to compete with you so there is no need to be afraid to lose the UMNO votes. Well, in the end, can you walk the talk, KJ?

Until the next time, cheers.

The Malaysian Insider, 18 October 2011

Khairy defends attacks on Guan Eng’s son, calls critics hypocrites

KUALA LUMPUR, Oct 18 — Khairy Jamaluddin suggested today there was nothing wrong with his remarks about allegations involving Lim Guan Eng’s teenage son, and called his critics hypocrites for pointing out that he was perpetrating lies about a member of a political rival’s family.

Earlier today, Lim said he was furious with the “barbaric lies” made about his teenage son by “pro-Umno ferocious beasts,” singling out Khairy and other ruling party leaders for perpetuating the allegations through snide comments on blogs and social media sites.

Khairy tweeted today that BN politicians and their families had been on the receiving end of even worse insults from the Opposition in the past. — file pic

Responding via his Twitter account to the criticisms, the Umno Youth chief said Barisan Nasional (BN) politicians and their families had been on the receiving end of even worse insults from the Opposition in the past.

 

The Umno Youth chief slammed Penang DAP member Satees Muniandy for being “hypocritical” when the latter raised the issue on the microblogging site.

“Bro, what BN leaders & their families get from opposition is far worse. Don’t be hypocritical,” Khairy wrote, using his Twitter handle @Khairykj.

Satees, writing under @sateesdapsypg, had earlier said, “U jz hv 2 wait! I wnt 2 see wat is ur reaction wen ur Puma & Cougar grown up & treated wt such lies & slanders! (sic)”.

“Puma & Cougar” are Khairy’s nicknames for his two sons.

“Are u justifying & defending Pro UMNO Bloggers cheap acts? I am not surprised as you also joined hand wt them! Gutter Politics!” Satees countered.

He then asked Khairy if DAP members had ever “stooped that low” as to attack the conduct of Umno ministers’ families or the latter’s kin, apart from his father-in-law, former prime minister Tun Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

“All the time bro. Get real. Don’t be hypocritical,” Khairy replied.

Lim, who is Penang chief minister and DAP secretary-general, had slammed Khairy today for posting snide comments on his Twitter page when responding to allegations made against his son.

Khairy had written yesterday, “Mungkin dia roboh Kampung Buah Pala sebab nak ganti dengan Kampung Buah Dada” in response to another tweet by pro-Umno blogger “@PapaGomo”. [English translation: Maybe he destroyed Kampung Buah Pala because he wants to replace it with Kampung Buah Dada].

The allegations, which first surfaced on pro-Umno blogs, centre on Guan Eng’s 16-year-old son’s alleged conduct in school and the youth’s attempted use of his father’s name and position to escape punishment.

The blogs also alleged the chief minister had then transferred his son to a different school and paid RM200,000 to keep the scandal out of the media.

Despite earning flak from his Twitter followers for his remarks, Khairy continued to defend himself and told another Penang DAP leader, Bukit Bendera MP Liew Chin Tong, to “get off your high horse”.

Another Twitter user, @whackalibabas, called Khairy a “despicable human” and reminded the Rembau MP that “God is watching” him.

To those who backed him, Khairy said, “Don’t bother. Clearly different standards for oppo leaders. BN leader & families are fair game.”

DAP adviser Lim Kit Siang, who is also Guan Eng’s father, stepped into the fray with a series of posts on his Twitter page condemning the allegations against his grandson.

“How PM/DPM feel if their children/grandchildren victims of such despicable/contemptible gutter attack built on lies?

“Will Najib/M’ddin condemn such despicable attack on innocent children by Umno cybertroopers? Is this Najib’s “political transformation”?”

“Confessed v sad/down/disheartened last 2 days unable 2protect my grandkids from such heartless cruelty/viciousness.Najib/Mddin condone them?” he wrote.

Obedient Wives Club publishes explicit sex book

Initially, I thought of giving my 2 sens worth view about this but then on second thought, I believe there are many out there already doing this. So, I will keep my mouth shut this time.

Until the next time, cheers.

The Malaysian Insider, 12 October 2011

Obedient Wives Club publishes explicit sex book

By Debra Chong

Previously, the club’s vice-president, Dr Rohaya Mohamad (right), had provoked an outcry for advising women to behave like “a first-class whore” while in the company of their husbands. — file pic

KOTA BARU, Oct 12 — A Muslim man can have sex with all his wives at the same time, according to a controversial new book on Islamic sex by the Obedient Wives Club (OWC).

 

Titillatingly-titled “Seks Islam, perangi Yahudi untk kembalikan seks Islam kepada dunia [Islamic sex, fighting Jews to return Islamic sex to the world]”, the explicit book aims to guide Muslim brides on how to pleasure their husbands in bed.

In its foreword, the pro-polygamy OWC said its studies showed women only gave their husbands 10 per cent of what the men desired of their wives’ bodies.

Malay-language daily, Berita Harian, reported today the Malay-Muslim community was upset the book featured on its front cover the polygamous leader of the outlawed Al-Arqam religious sect, Asaari Muhammad, and also objected to its extremely graphic visuals.

An extract on the back cover reads, in Bahasa Malaysia: “Selaku pemimpin roh, kebolehan yang Allah izinkan kepada mereka ialah boleh serentak dengan semua isteri-isteri melakukan hubungan jenis. Manakala kalau isteripun orang roh, lagilah hebat. Ke mana-mana terbang untuk atau sambil melakukan hubungan sulit itu dalam keadaan lebih nikmat dan lebih ringan dibanding dengan perlakuan yang menggunakan fizikal. Untuk itulah Abuya sedang proses isteri-isterinya ke arah roh.”

In English: “As a spiritual leader, Allah has granted him the ability to have simultaneous sex with all his wives. And if the wife is spiritual, the sex is greater. They can fly anywhere for sex, it is more enjoyable and easier compared to physical sex. For that reason, Abuya was processing his wives towards the spiritual.”

The paper noted that explicit sex details littered the book’s 115 pages, and cited as another example chapter eight which deals with “how sex becomes worship”.

“Kemuncak cinta kita ialah celah kangkang. Tangan, kaki dan segalanya terdorong kuat untuk menuju ke situ [The peak of our love is the cleft in between. Hands, feet and everything are strongly driven there].”

The sex book has not been banned but Kelantan mufti, Datuk Mohamad Shukri Mohamad, has stepped into the fray to play down the emphasis of Islam on sex.

“The Al-Quran explains the ‘wife clothes the husband and you (the husband) clothes the wife. ‘Your wife is the field and therefore come to your field’,” Berita Harian quoted him saying today.

“Islam touches on sex in a civilised, polite and non-lewd manner. So we should not detail it in such a way as to give a negative impression,” Mohamad Shukri added, saying sex in Islam was described in symbolic terms.

This is the second time the OWC has hit the headlines. Previously, the club’s vice-president, Dr Rohaya Mohamad, provoked an outcry from women’s rights groups and Islamic religious authorities for advising women to behave like “a first-class whore” while in the company of their husbands if they wanted their marriages to succeed.

This article was picked up in many newspapers including The NST and Malaysian Insider, lending credence to this Bollywood superstar's popularity. It is good that he has done this as the issue of toilets is an important one and certainly in many parts of the world, millions are without proper toilets and the ramification is great.

It is sad that at this age and time and with so much wealth in the world, this is still a perennial problem faced by many. I certainly hope that with he will be able to garner support to tackle this issue effectively.

Until the next time, cheers.

Shah Rukh Khan leads life-saving toilet campaign

Shah Rukh Khan has been named a global ambassador for sanitation and hygiene as part of a United Nations-backed campaign.—AFP photo  

MUMBAI: Bollywood icon Shah Rukh Khan has joined a campaign to help cut thousands of easily-preventable deaths across the world through the provision of basic toilet facilities.

The 45-year-old star has been named a global ambassador for sanitation and hygiene as part of a United Nations-backed campaign to tackle diseases such as diarrhoea, which is the second-biggest killer of children worldwide.

“It is shameful and tragic that every 30 seconds a child dies from preventable diarrhoea —that’s two unnecessary child deaths per minute,” Khan said in a statement released on Monday.

“Toilets for all will make India and the world a healthier and cleaner place, particularly for poor women, girls and others at the margins of our societies,” he added.

Khan’s new role comes as specialists and non-governmental organisations working to improve public health gather in Mumbai this week at a Water Supply and Sanitation Collaborative Council (WSSCC) conference.

Halving the number of people living without access to basic sanitation by 2015 is one of the eight Millennium Development Goals covering issues from poverty and hunger to education and tackling HIV/AIDS.

WSSCC executive director Jon Lane said Khan’s involvement would give “huge impetus to moving the agenda forward” amid fears that the target on improving sanitation would not be met.

Steve Jobs, A disruptive digital visionary

There must be thousands of articles written about this man since his demise. I found this article summarises well about his life. I myself got hook on Apple when I first used the Macintosh in 1991. I stopped using Apple products for many years and then I bought the ipod.....well, I think many more got hooked after this, me included.

For whatever he did, he deserves all the accolates given to him and I understand why there are so many diehard Apple followers.

What more can be said? Rest in peace, Steve.

Until the next time, cheers.

Financial Times, October 6, 2011 

A disruptive digital visionary

By Richard Waters and Joseph Menn

 

Steve Jobs presented the world with products it did not know it wanted and cannot now live without 

 

Steve Jobs stamped his mark on the first 35 years of personal computing history, from the rudimentary but ground-breaking Apple II to the sleek touch-screen iPad. In the process, he helped instil new digital tastes in a generation, while touching off a wave of disruption that has reshaped the consumer electronics, mobile communications and media and entertainment industries.

An unlikely business leader, with an early leaning towards the counter-culture that stayed with him throughout his life, he carved out one of the most remarkable careers of his age, including a corporate comeback that is unrivalled in modern business history. Apple, the company he co-founded – widely thought to be heading for bankruptcy when he returned after a decade’s absence in 1996 – this year briefly overtook ExxonMobil to become the world’s most valuable company.

Jobs was not an engineer-entrepreneur in the Silicon Valley mould, and did not make his mark as an inventor in the classic sense. With no formal technical background, he borrowed, bought or merely popularised many of the ideas most closely associated with his company’s success. His genius for anticipating what millions of consumers would want next from their digital devices – and shaping the conditions that would create feverish excitement for each successive Apple advance – was unparalleled.

Steven Paul Jobs was born in Los Altos, California, in 1955, son of a Syrian professor of political science and his American speech therapist girlfriend. He was adopted by Paul and Clara Jobs, a hard-working couple of moderate means.

At high school, he dabbled in electronics with his friend Steve Wozniak – their first gadget was an illegal device that transmitted a tone down telephone networks to allow them to make free calls – but his path seemed anything but set.

He dropped out of Reed College, Oregon, and in 1974 went to India in search of spiritual enlightenment. He once said that his rival, Microsoft chairman Bill Gates (pictured to the right of Steve Jobs in 1984), would have benefited from similar experiences. Jobs retained the 1960s Bohemian spirit throughout his life, usually dressing in the artist’s uniform of black turtleneck sweater and jeans.

Back in Silicon Valley, he was drawn, along with Mr Wozniak, to the hobbyist culture of the early personal computing aficionados. It was Mr Wozniak who displayed the technical flair, working on circuit boards that became a model for packing the most computing power into the most efficient space – but it took Jobs to turn the idea into a product, the basis of a business. Jobs hawked the board for the Apple I, designed in Mr Wozniak’s bedroom, to local consumer electronics stores, with the wooden cases for the machines an optional extra.

Steve Jobs (right) with Steve Wozniak in the mid-1970s with the Apple I

Success, when it came, struck with surprising speed. The 1977 Apple II – designed by Mr Wozniak, and widely viewed as one of the technical breakthroughs of early personal computing – won an almost instant following, turning the company’s young founders into instant business celebrities. 

Jobs represented a new phenomenon in the 1970s: businessman as pop culture hero, as recognisable and charismatic as a film star. Aged only 21, he was propelled into the public eye as the maverick face of a fresh and liberating technology culture.

Behind the early success lay an ambitious and mercurial leader. Jobs was renowned among those with whom he worked closely for being both inspiring and maddening: he could turn withering anger on subordinates who did not live up to his demanding standards, humiliating them in front of colleagues. A perfectionist who did not suffer fools lightly, he insisted on having the final say over the technology, design and marketing of everything stamped with the Apple name. He was famous for sending back to the drawing board many of what became the group’s best-known products, sometimes for what seemed the smallest of design tweaks.

Apple’s initial public offering, when he was still only 25, made him rich and turned Apple into the most visible success to emerge from a wave of start-ups springing up to cash in on the first personal computing boom.

In 1983, however, IBM – at the time the world’s largest computer manufacturer – introduced its own personal computer. The IBM brand legitimised the PC in the business marketplace and established the Microsoft operating system as the industry standard.

That year Jobs asked PepsiCo president John Sculley, who had a reputation for brilliant marketing, to become Apple president and help counter the IBM challenge. In a display of Jobs’ persuasive skills that would enter business history, he said: “If you stay at Pepsi, five years from now all you’ll have accomplished is selling a lot more sugar water to kids. If you come to Apple, you can change the world.”

Bill Gates, to the left of Steve Jobs, pictured in 1984

The Apple Macintosh appeared in 1984, bringing icons and the mouse to a mass audience. Small, light and affordable, it was even described as “lovable” – probably a first for any computer. Yet Microsoft soon emulated the breakthroughs in the Mac, keeping Apple from breaking its stranglehold on the market.

As the battle wore on, Mr Sculley began to see Jobs as disruptive and forced a showdown that led to Jobs’ resignation. Neither Apple nor Jobs did well without the other.

His new company, NeXT, developed a high-powered – and expensive – computer for the education market, but it was not a success. He did better with a side project: a computerised movie production house called Pixar that he bought in 1986. The company scored a string of hits, starting with the animated children’s film Toy Story, and its eventual purchase by Walt Disney made Jobs the biggest individual shareholder of that entertainment colossus.

Apple, meanwhile, lost its technological edge, and a series of chief executives failed to turn the tide. The end seemed in sight for the company until, in 1996, it bought NeXT, bringing Jobs back as an “informal adviser”. NeXT’s software was to form the core of the Mac OS X operating system.

That year, Jobs was named interim chief executive – a position that was soon made permanent. The following May brought the launch of a product that signalled the return of the company’s creative spark: the iMac, a one-piece, brightly coloured computer in a curved plastic case. It was a vivid indication of how Jobs would go on to rebuild the company by uniting compelling design and cutting-edge technology. By the end of July, Apple had sold almost 300,000 of the machines.
It was the start of perhaps the most impressive comeback in business history. In completing the turnround, Jobs went on to shake up the personal computing industry he had helped to create with a series of portable devices – in the process also upending the mobile communications industry and creating new markets for digital media and entertainment.

The Apple Mac and third-party software, in combination with the laser printer, provided the essential tools of the desktop publishing revolution in the 1980s. The more powerful Macintosh computers, with large display screens, became the computers of choice for the graphics and design industries. But that still left Apple with only some 3 per cent of the world market for desktop computers.

Then, in the early years of the new century, Jobs saw a new opportunity. Though many music services had tried to get the main record labels to provide licensed versions of their content online, Jobs was able to convince them that Apple’s technology would protect their songs from the endemic piracy afflicting their business models. The small, elegant iPod quickly came to dominate the market for portable music players, while iTunes would become the biggest seller of digital music.

The iPhone and iPad that were to follow built on the iPod’s successful combination of high style and user-friendly technology with online services – in their case, the App Store – to create digital experiences that rivals could not match.


Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2004. The following year, in a speech to students at Stanford University, he said that receiving a diagnosis that he might die had reinforced a personal philosophy that had been with him since the age of 17. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life,” he said. “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

Steve Jobs shows off the new iMac in 1998

The illness returned, forcing Jobs to step aside as Apple chief executive in the first half of 2009, during which time he underwent a liver transplant. Early this year he announced he would take another leave of absence because of his health. He retained the title of chief executive until he stepped down in August, though he remained chairman.

Jobs was eventually reunited with his natural mother, Joanne, and met his sister, the novelist Mona Simpson. He was romantically involved with a number of charismatic women, including folk singer Joan Baez, once the lover of Bob Dylan, Jobs’ favourite artist. His high school girlfriend, Chris-Ann, bore him a daughter, Lisa. Though he initially refused to recognise the child as his, he eventually accepted her and took a strong interest in her career.

In 1991 he married Laurene Powell, an MBA student he met when lecturing at Stanford graduate business school. They had a son and two daughters. His wife survives him, as do his four children.
Though Jobs never lost his reputation as a hard taskmaster and irascible boss, his management style eventually shaped one of the most highly regarded and effective management teams in the tech industry. The managers who could were able to withstand his intensely demanding ways – including operations expert and new chief executive Tim Cook and design guru Jonathan Ive – went on to become members of a cohesive team that is regarded as one of Jobs’ main legacies to the company he founded.

Meanwhile, in Silicon Valley, where a new generation of 20-something tech entrepreneurs has recently come to the fore, the influence of Jobs looms large.

The MacBooks that are standard issue among up-and-coming developers, the iPads that have become the blank slates on which new digital dreams are being sketched, the stripped-down style that is now the standard design aesthetic for consumer technology: all pay homage to the man who was long the Valley’s presiding creative genius.

Echoing a widely expressed view this week, Dave Morin, a former Apple employee who went on to become an early Facebook employee before branching out to start his own internet service, blogged that Jobs had “led an entire generation of entrepreneurs to see what is possible when you combine design, technology, and focus”. Above all, he praised the Apple co-founder’s “relentless editing, intense focus and really hard work”.

Amid the outpouring of tributes from former allies and foes alike, it was an eloquent reminder of Jobs’ enduring impact on the world-changing industry he helped to found.

Bersih: Police corporal ‘scapegoat’ in Tung Shin scandal

If this article is true.....just when I am starting to believe that change is imminent...then we read about this. Maybe we are too foolish to believe the media reporting...again? Why can't we try to get simple things right instead of covering up? When we do this too many times, we will lose track of truths, half truths and lies. Is this how we want to pass the baton to our next generation?

Until the next time, cheers.

The Malaysian Insider, Sunday, 9 October 2011

Bersih: Police corporal ‘scapegoat’ in Tung Shin scandal

Bersih steering committee member Maria Chin Abdullah said that pinpointing one scapegoat is not going to give the public any confidence that any investigation is going to be fair. — file pic

KUALA LUMPUR, Oct 9 — Bersih 2.0 said today authorities have made a scapegoat of the policeman held solely responsible for firing tear gas into Tung Shin Hospital during the July 9 rally for free and fair elections.

 

“This is ridiculous. Everyone saw ... the whole world saw the video. The poor guy is the scapegoat.

“If you say just one, did they really do a proper investigation? How can they say it’s one?” Bersih steering committee member Maria Chin Abdullah told The Malaysian Insider.

Kuala Lumpur police had said yesterday that the police corporal who breached standard operating procedure (SOP) during the rally would be disciplined.

“Just like the minister of health (Datuk Seri Liow Tiong Lai) who denied Tung Shin was attacked by police, this is a denial that more than one police officer was involved,” Chin added.

In a report made public on Tuesday, the Health Ministry had determined that police acted in an unethical manner and breached SOP when dispersing demonstrators who had converged on the hospital to escape riot police.

The report prompted a statement from Home Ministry secretary-general Tan Sri Mahmood Adam that the matter would be referred to the police disciplinary committee.

“If you deal with abuse in this manner, having one scapegoat is not going to give the public any confidence that any investigation is going to be fair,” Chin said.

Police had absolved themselves of any wrongdoing during the July 9 rally after setting up six internal teams to investigate claims of police brutality that followed after nearly 1,700 were arrested, scores injured and an ex-soldier died during chaotic scenes in the capital.

But Health Minister Datuk Seri Liow Tiong Lai ordered a second probe into the Tung Shin incident on July 14 after a group of medical consultants had written to the media refuting the hospital board and police who claimed that no gas canisters or water cannons were fired into the hospital.

Police finally admitted on July 21 that Tung Shin was hit with tear gas canisters and water cannon during the rally, but denied shooting directly into the compound.

But this claim flies in the face of various video clips uploaded on the YouTube video-sharing site showing water cannon and tear gas being fired into the hospital area.

This writer seem to read my mind perfectly and took the words right out of my mouth. How often we are guilty for being a parent that “give their children all that they never had” and then feel really guilty for spoiling them? Then again in other times, when we see them not appreciating the things that they have nagged them with "If you don’t appreciate your things, I’ll give them all to the poor children.”

But then again, the children now live in such a materialistic world. The bombartment that they get from the various media and peer pressure is really crazy. So, I suppose as parents, we must also cut them some slack about this. I am sure, we as parents are also caught up somewhat in this.

We must however, try our best to thankful for what they have and also sensitive to others who have less and not be envious of those that have more. Wow, I suppose this is a hard thing to do but then again whoever said that parenting is easy and neither is growing up!!

Until the next time, cheers.

Sunday Star, October 2, 2011

When less is more

By REBECCA CHIENG

Giving a child what she needs, not what she wants, teaches her appreciation.

 

I THINK affluence and gratitude have an inverse relationship. In all likelihood, the more one has and the more easily it is acquired, the less grateful one tends to be.

Take pencils, for example. When I was a child, my frugal mother bought only what was necessary and never threw anything away. So we would use our pencils until they were as short as my little pinky.

If I told mum my pencil was already too short, she would promptly put a pen cap on its tip and say: “There, you can still hold it. Don’t throw it away ... wasteful!”

So, in my pencil case, I had a lot of little, short pencils with pen caps on them. A new, long pencil was an item of luxury to me.

Many times in primary school, I would look enviously at my classmate who had beautiful, mechanical pencils kept in pink pencil boxes with buttons on them. Whenever she pressed the boxes, tiny drawers would pop out, yielding a sharpener or an eraser. It was the “cool” stationery to own then.

So, in the footsteps of parents who want to “give their children all that they never had”, I relish buying pencils and all kinds of stationery for my daughter. I get very excited when she receives stationery sets as birthday or Christmas gifts, party packs or door gifts.

“Yeah, Barbie/ Dora/ Hello Kitty/ Cinderella pencils!” I’d say to her. She is so lucky to have so many at her young age, I’d think, as I wonder if I should perhaps encourage her to pick up journal writing to make full use of them. I even ensure that her pencil case is always complete.

Imagine my vexation when I find pencils or erasers under her bed, in the living room and behind the couch, or missing when she needs to use them. My constant reminders escalate to nagging and then threats of, “If you don’t appreciate your things, I’ll give them all to the poor children.” But these backfired when she called my bluff by saying: “Mmm, OK, go ahead…” and nonchalantly returned to playing with her toy.

Back then, my mother would frequently say: “You children are so fortunate that you don’t even realise your own good fortune.” I am so tempted to repeat that phrase to my children when I see them using a stationery item once or twice, then discarding it, just so they can open a new set. Or, when they take a bite of a cookie, only to pass it to mummy or daddy because they want to take another.

Thankfulness does not lie in parroting the words “Thank you” just because parents nudge children to do so. It should be part of their attitude, instilled into them through daily habits like caring and being responsible for their possessions.

Thankfulness lies in not being picky about food, or fussy about the brand of their clothes or shoes. It is also about valuing the gifts received on special occasions instead of whining, “But all my friends have an iPad2 now!”

As one generation fares better than the one before it, the scale of appreciation also seems to decline. We, well-meaning parents who seldom deny our children what they want – let alone need – are perhaps unintentionally cultivating a generation of youths who feel that their blessings have become their entitlement.

Is it any wonder that by the time they are of employment age, many jobs in the market are “beneath them”, either because the salary is not high enough or they require too much hard work?

Therefore, what should we do to encourage an attitude of gratitude in our young ones?

Perhaps we should first take time to reexamine our own attitude of giving. It wouldn’t hurt to do what our parents did – give them only what they need and no more. We could also teach them to think about giving to others, not just some unseen “less fortunate soul”, but the people close to them – for doesn’t charity begin at home?

I hope we do not have to resort to boot camp treatment to have our children come running back to us, remorseful and filled with indebtedness.

Meanwhile, I’ll withhold all my daughter’s pencils for now and just give her one every year until she finishes university.